All these damn thoughts keep me up at night, they yell at me to stay awake through the fatigue, through the melatonin, through the warm milk, through the Vicks on my eye lids. The anxiety of my future ways heavy on me. How can I be the best influence to Cindy's kids ever? 

What a fantastic start to this summer I'm having. Once the stress of being in the dark for your grades passes by, you just get the sense of accomplishment and readiness for the nourishment that the Summer provides for you. Dropping my summer class was such a great decision, yeah I could have gotten a class ahead, but this time off is fantastic and not having to worry about anything is second to none. Spending time with my kids is amazing. Being a parent is way more satisfying then I ever would have imagined. This time of me not working and being the stay at home parent won't last forever. I'm cherishing every moment I have. I literally just laid on the couch and they were on each of my arms, I wasn't on my phone or even watching tv, I was just enjoying this moment of pure euphoria and nothing else mattered. They were on their iPads and they were having me watch what they were watching or playing and even taking pictures of us. That is a moment of time that I hope sticks with me when I'm on my deathbed. 

You know what? I love eating food whenever, no matter what it is at any time of the day! I want to go to the highest mountain top and scream that. I love pizza, and if I want pizza for lunch and dinner... why the heck can't I. I'm an adult. hahah Yeah it's unhealthy or whatever. But damn even the thought of that brings a huge smile to my face. I just wish those damn pizza boxes were easier to throw away. 

I started on this book that I've had in my head for years. I did a lot of research for it and put the outline together and I looked at it my impending big break of a novel with so much glee. It has been 2 years since that outline has been completed and I have only had about 2(ish) chapters made up. As soon as the words migrated from the outline to the keyboard, I was disgusted at what had come into fruition. Nothing was lining up and all the sense of the stories were becoming nonsense. The computer document ended up being about 5 chapters and I erased about half of it as if I was Thanos himself snapping his fingers. I started this website to get my creative gears going, my poems, my vocabulary, my literacy has all waned. It's not for lack of motivation or inspiration... I truly believe I have stories that are waiting to be experienced with others, at the same time it has to be on my terms, on my prerogative. Whether my words are celebrated or stigmatized, they have to be the best version of what I have to offer.

When it comes to writing your thoughts, I mere post on twitter is not enough to fully encompass any or all of my complete thoughts. The people that actually take the time to find this and read through the layers that I'm willing to share with this world are the audience that I wish to reach. The goal is to entertain and bring thought provocation. Although opinions are mine and could be shared by many, I will not be apologetic to those who suffer from the incurable condition of being a little bitch that takes offense to indifference. Enjoy the ride, you only have so many stops on it.